A Professional with a Personal Life

How to enact your role as a trusted professional in your personal life: 

Last week, I wrote about how therapy is political, what is required to uphold the CRPO Code of Ethics, and what it means to be a trusted professional.

In Ontario, the concept of a “trusted professional” is not defined by a single statute, but rather through a framework of regulated professions and codes of ethics mandated by regulatory colleges or employers. Being a “trusted professional” doesn’t turn off when I close my office door. I believe this wholeheartedly. But I also know that it can be hard (and yes, uncomfortable) to start to concretize this in our daily, jumbled-up lives.

So this is less a set of instructions and more a personal checklist. These are the things I try to hold myself to consistently enough to whittle away at the gap between what I say in session and how I move through the world.

1. I strive for congruence, not perfection.

We’re all human. You don’t need to be flawless, and I don’t need to be flawless. That would be an absurd goal.

But I do try to notice when my values start to shift depending on what room I’m in. And when I notice it, I put a stop to it. If I advocate for dignity and anti-oppression in session, that should still be present at dinner parties and in the group chat.

2. I interrupt harm clearly.

It is almost always extremely uncomfortable. I practice (beforehand) responding to discriminatory jokes or misinformation arising in social settings, and then I try my best to follow through in real-life. Again, I’m not perfect.

Remember that silence communicates and embodies its own form of participation.

3. I think carefully about how I show up online.

My digital presence isn’t separate from my professional one; I don’t really think anyone’s is.

Before engaging, liking, sharing, or posting, I think about what that action will signal about who I am and what I believe. Does it hold up to my professional ethical standards? Would I feel comfortable standing behind this in front of a client? My regulator? A colleague? Myself, 5 years from now?

4. I maintain confidentiality beyond the obvious.

Protecting clients’ privacy is a matter of legality, yes, but it’s also about respect.

I’ve had to check myself on how easily “a client who….” can slip into a conversation or story, even if anonymous. It’s better to err on the side of saying less.

I can’t go around treating the trust clients place in me casually, even in passing and even if it feels harmless.

5. I keep educating myself (and I try not to outsource that labour).

This is ongoing.

I read. I attend workshops. I try to go out of my way to listen to community voices. I seek out perspectives that aren’t my own.

I also try to be extra mindful of not relying on marginalized clients to explain their own oppression to me while they are paying me. I’m not saying ask no questions, but I try to model fair and just boundaries in those personal and professional relationships.

There’s a difference between being open and being passive. I’m trying to take more responsibility for my own learning.

What else?

Boundaries. Consent. Repair. These things show up in my friendships, my family, my work, my community. I try to say no when I need to; I try to notice when I’ve caused harm and to apologize in a way that repairs, while holding true to the boundaries I need to stay well and mitigate harm.

I don’t do it perfectly, but I don’t think I can ask clients to practice something I’m unwilling to work on myself.

I want to be aware of what’s happening in the world. I also know that staying regulated is the only way to sustain this. Being informed is part of being responsible; burnout helps no one. It’s a hard balance to strike. I’m trying.

To be trusted in this work is a privilege. Living in alignment with that trust is everyday work. It’s not automatic. I have to come back to it over and over again, sometimes with less capacity than usual, sometimes with more. This list is more-or-less where I’m at with it right now.

If you are (in some capacity or another) also a “trusted professional,” I’m curious what this looks like for you. Share in the comments!