If there’s a “classic” therapy day, it’s a “bad” day. It’s a day when the tears come easily, and your thoughts and emotions are just bursting out of you. On those days, therapy can feel incredibly cathartic. These also tend to be the moments more associated with therapy in the media and on-screen. 

Going to therapy on those “bad” days is SO important and can be immensely helpful in managing those hard times. But the truth is, most of us don’t need to be encouraged to keep up with therapy on a bad day. 

This is my case for going to therapy on the good days too. 

Let’s set the scene: You have your weekly/monthly appointment roll around, and you wake up feeling great. Your annoying colleague has been keeping to themself, your pain is on a low day, the self-talk has been more positive than it has been in a while, and things are going really well in your relationships lately. You think to yourself: What the heck am I gonna tell my therapist today? Things are going great. I’m feeling so good. Should I just cancel?

When a client comes into a session and tells me, “I almost cancelled because I’m having such a good day,” I genuinely congratulate them and thank them for coming. Because there’s so much we can do in therapy when you’re feeling good. 

As a therapist, I want to hear about the good times. I want to hear that things have been going absolutely fantastic for you, and that perhaps you considered not even coming to session because it didn’t feel necessary.

First off, I want to hear that because it brings me immense joy to watch my clients thrive. But also because, yes, I am here to help you get through the hard times, but I am also here to cheer you on through the good times, and hopefully to support you in finding some insight in those good times too. 

Here are this therapist’s top 6 reasons not to skip your therapy session just because things are going great: 

1. Good days mean more capacity

When things are hard, sometimes we can only go so deep. The work usually is more about coping and soothing, and about getting from bad to not-so-bad. But when things are feeling great, there’s often a lot more emotional bandwidth for exploration. We can look back at those harder moments and ask why they felt so hard. We can finally talk about all those things that have been sitting on the side burner because there has always been something more urgent to deal with. 

2. Reflecting on feeling good can offer new perspective

Whenever a client shares positivity with me, I encourage them to take a mental snapshot of that moment. It’s so easy to remember the hard times (don’t get me started on a rant about negativity bias), but giving ourselves the chance to capture and hold onto the good times can be immensely helpful for keeping a balanced perspective on our lives long-term and for having a reference point for when hard times (inevitably) arise. 

When a difficult period feels more distant, we also tend to have a greater ability to see those hard moments, and what made them hard, from a new perspective. 

3. Therapy can and should include your normal, happy, boring, funny life

You have permission to keep or make a therapy session just to catch your therapist up on what’s happening in your life. Let’s talk about a relationship that’s going well and feels easy. Tell me about the thing that happened yesterday that made you laugh. Share your wins. I’m not just here for the stuff that hurts; I’m here for all of it. 

4. You can learn what “doing well” means for you

It’s fantastic that you’re doing and feeling great. Let’s get curious about why. Let’s look at what’s new: are you getting more rest? Spending more time with people who make you feel safe? Giving yourself more space? Setting different boundaries? Figuring out what helps you feel good is invaluable information to carry forward. 

5. You can intentionally pause and notice progress

We tend to be great at noticing when things feel like they’re going poorly and are far less practiced at noticing when something has changed for the better. Good therapy is a chance to stop and look (with intention) at what’s working. Maybe something that would have completely derailed you 6 months ago didn’t this time. Maybe you set a new boundary, or recovered faster. 

6. It’s easier to build skills before you desperately need them

Some things are just easier to practice when you have more breathing room. Boundaries, communication, coping strategies, pattern recognition, and being able to ask for what you need are all much harder to figure out when you’re already overwhelmed. It can be an annoying thing to hear, but feeling better doesn’t necessarily mean that there’s nothing left to work on. But it can give us the space to do the kind of work that can help you to navigate the next difficult period differently. 

A somewhat imperfect but useful analogy: when a doctor prescribes antibiotics, they always remind you not to stop taking them the moment you start to feel better. Feeling better is a big deal. Feeling better is fantastic. But it doesn’t mean that the work is finished. 

To be clear: I will never judge you for cancelling a session. But if the only reason you’re considering cancelling is that you’re thinking I’m actually doing great. What would we even talk about? – it might be worth reconsidering. 

Come to therapy on the good day. I promise there’s plenty we can work on. 

Warmly,

Nat